Perhaps my only thought in last couple of years, as I chug along the 30s, is: Life is weird. You look around and everyone had found their lane and its just impossible to even communicate anything with anyone. Loners perhaps could use a friend, but they are destined to not have one. I think something happens to people by their 30s that they find it painfully awkward to interact with anyone who is not part of a well defined group already. This is such a strong force that people will give up anything just to be part of a group.. or perhaps in other words it is what they called being settled. If you are not part of any group in 30s, you are a true looser.
As somewhat of a loner empath myself, I gravitated towards this emotionally very much. As I was reading this, it reminded me of one of my favorite quotes from Alfonso Cuarón which he said in an interview after he screened Roma at one of the international film festivals - "After all, Existence is nothing but the shared experiences of loneliness"
I liked this a lot. The part that struck me is when you said your friend was stuck with a past version of you that he knew. Like a comfort zone. Old friends are like this. Family even worse. It's hard to take some of them along when you move on.
Thanks for writing Anurag - brings back memories of my life when I decided to write, the sense of being lost in this big world, the few readers I had in blogspot - faceless people who kept me going and now that I am somewhat of a writer knowing none of them.
Thank you for encouraging words, Anubhuti. It’s always the unseen, often strangers who offer the quiet fuel that sustains creativity. It's incredible and somewhat magical too how it all happens.
Loved this piece! There are many quotable lines in it, but my favorites were -
"As time passed, I almost felt guilty for letting him and other people who thought that one day I’d make it big in life down. I almost felt like an assassin of hope. It reminded me of Bukowski’s line from a poem: “We are like roses that have never bothered to bloom when we should have bloomed, and it is as if the sun has become disgusted with waiting.”"
"Friendship, I realised, perhaps, among many other factors, is also based on signed pact of sharing the slow collapse of life together."
You're a wonderful writer, Anurag! Keep up the amazing work.
The idea that friendships are based on a signed pact of sharing the slow collapse of life together is one of the best I read in recent times. The line seems funny to me in a weird way.
The more I get older, the more i realise how true it is. And once you get out of those situations of common sorrow, the friendship becomes mostly superficial and fades away into the abyss.
Loved the writing, filled me with the sweet nostalgia of the friendship I never had.
Great reminder that we are closer to people in our imagined universe than in reality. Our latest high school reunion highlighted this starkly. Erstwhile cricketing heroes have morphed into pot bellied business tycoons while the gentle quiet nerds have transformed into fire breathing nationalists. Who would have thought that fun loving kids from a small provincial Indian town would now be part of a politically fractious Whatsapp group spanning several continents? Was a good shattering of the sympathetic and kind images I had carried of them in my mind for several decades
Loved this.
Perhaps my only thought in last couple of years, as I chug along the 30s, is: Life is weird. You look around and everyone had found their lane and its just impossible to even communicate anything with anyone. Loners perhaps could use a friend, but they are destined to not have one. I think something happens to people by their 30s that they find it painfully awkward to interact with anyone who is not part of a well defined group already. This is such a strong force that people will give up anything just to be part of a group.. or perhaps in other words it is what they called being settled. If you are not part of any group in 30s, you are a true looser.
Apt observation!! Sums up what I have been loosely thinking and discussing with a friend few days back.
Brilliantly written!
As somewhat of a loner empath myself, I gravitated towards this emotionally very much. As I was reading this, it reminded me of one of my favorite quotes from Alfonso Cuarón which he said in an interview after he screened Roma at one of the international film festivals - "After all, Existence is nothing but the shared experiences of loneliness"
Beautiful Quote!!
I liked this a lot. The part that struck me is when you said your friend was stuck with a past version of you that he knew. Like a comfort zone. Old friends are like this. Family even worse. It's hard to take some of them along when you move on.
Thanks for writing Anurag - brings back memories of my life when I decided to write, the sense of being lost in this big world, the few readers I had in blogspot - faceless people who kept me going and now that I am somewhat of a writer knowing none of them.
Keep writing. Loooove your work.
Thank you for encouraging words, Anubhuti. It’s always the unseen, often strangers who offer the quiet fuel that sustains creativity. It's incredible and somewhat magical too how it all happens.
Totally agree, friends - or those who we consider friends - often disappoint. So I don’t have any now - saves a lot of pain 😃
Captivating read! Didn’t want it to end
Loved this piece! There are many quotable lines in it, but my favorites were -
"As time passed, I almost felt guilty for letting him and other people who thought that one day I’d make it big in life down. I almost felt like an assassin of hope. It reminded me of Bukowski’s line from a poem: “We are like roses that have never bothered to bloom when we should have bloomed, and it is as if the sun has become disgusted with waiting.”"
"Friendship, I realised, perhaps, among many other factors, is also based on signed pact of sharing the slow collapse of life together."
You're a wonderful writer, Anurag! Keep up the amazing work.
Thank you so much, Shivani 🩵🩵
The idea that friendships are based on a signed pact of sharing the slow collapse of life together is one of the best I read in recent times. The line seems funny to me in a weird way.
This article broke my heart but also gave me the strength to continue at the same time.
In your journey, you had so many things not going well for such a long time. Kudos to you for not giving up. I hope I don't too.
The more I get older, the more i realise how true it is. And once you get out of those situations of common sorrow, the friendship becomes mostly superficial and fades away into the abyss.
Loved the writing, filled me with the sweet nostalgia of the friendship I never had.
This made me miss my own loner friend!
Too beautiful. That Proust quote is the exact amount of motivation I needed in my mundane life. Great writing as always
Thanks Tejas!!
Loved this piece so much❤️
thanks a lot aishwarya 🩷
Great reminder that we are closer to people in our imagined universe than in reality. Our latest high school reunion highlighted this starkly. Erstwhile cricketing heroes have morphed into pot bellied business tycoons while the gentle quiet nerds have transformed into fire breathing nationalists. Who would have thought that fun loving kids from a small provincial Indian town would now be part of a politically fractious Whatsapp group spanning several continents? Was a good shattering of the sympathetic and kind images I had carried of them in my mind for several decades
Where is that top picture from? It is devastating.