When I was in college, I had watched a play performed by the team of Asmita Theatre Group. It was a story of a muslim man who drove autorickshaws for a living. His son had just died. Whenever that man came in contact with any passenger, he shared his grief but no one listened. It was an Indian adaptation of Chekhov's Short Story Misery. It was the first time I had cried so much in a theatre. Every single one of my friends cried unashamedly, unapologetically. Every professor, every student I could see in the darkness was sobbing relentlessly. That day I changed as a viewer.
Although I am very generous in shedding tears, one of the most curious pieces I have cried on was something called a "counter-map" in an exhibition a few years ago. Made by artist Mohamed Abusal, this imagined metro map of Gaza left me in uncontrollable tears. As a lover of public transportation who enjoys riding buses and metro, this innocent vision of having just a functioning mobility system in Gaza while being in a perpetual existential threat was both heartbreaking and heartwarming.
Lovely article, Anurag. Your way with words is moving, evocative, and thought-provoking. I often shed a tear or two while watching movies or TV shows, but one particular occasion is still very fresh. I took my mother-in-law to see the Amir Khan movie, Talaash, a few weeks after its release. Overall, it was a decent movie with an engaging plot, but what opened the floodgates for me were all the scenes where Amir Khan deals with the accidental death of his young son. I was a new father at that time, and even the thought of something happening to my son was overwhelming. The movie captured the anguish of the parents, particularly the father's, very poignantly. I still think about that experience. On a side note, but tangentially related, I am very open about expressing my emotions in front of my son. I hope that in this world of "influencers" posturing on social media and toxic masculinity, he learns that expressing emotions is integral to the human experience.
The last time I cried uncontrollably was during Ava Duvernay's Origin. I had read the book few years ago and I knew going into the movie that it's going to be heartbreaking, but completely unexpectedly the scene where Isabel's husband dies made me weep the most and that scene (and fear of losing my spouse) kept replaying in my head for multiple nights after.
Btw I cry easily so its a low bar to clear, but I distinctly remember crying a lot in Pixar's Soul(when the lead discovers what the "point" of life is - the Epiphany scene) and during Denis Villeneuve's Arrival(when the lead who can see the future that involves so much pain still chooses to go forward with the relationship with her future husband) a lot!
The first time I cried uncontrollablly was after watching Tare Zameen Par as a kid I think I might be about 7-8 years old I don't what happened how can a kid cry after watching a movie. I still think about it .
In one of Diljit’s Punjabi movies there is an emotional song with one line that goes like, “somebody inform the stream in my village, I'll swim in it again after going to a crematorium, I will be back as ashes in a clay pot”, perhaps this is the only song that made me cry for a bit. To me it brings out the connection between a person and the place they call home and longing to reach there even after death, and also my pathetic narcissism about crying over my own death. Also, while reading Anita Anand’s book on Udham Singh, I cried when they brought Udham’s remains back to India after so many decades. Reunited with a land that he sacrificed himself for, only decades after death. I am noticing a pattern here now. Sorry about the long comment.
I cried uncontrollably while watching Grave of the Fireflies, and the tears didn’t stop even through the night that followed. Even now, whenever I think about it, like at this very moment as I type, I have to fight hard to hold back tears. What surprises me is that I cannot consciously relate to the story. I have never gone hungry because of poverty or endured anything close to what the characters went through, yet the film still affects me so profoundly, as if it reached into some deeper, unspoken part of me.
I always cry while reading Sahir ludhianvi's nazm Parchhaiyan about the love of a couple in war and the end of war and the call of the poet for the people to act against the govt. It's not always the activist part but the part where he starts with us saam muje malum hua jab Baap ki kheti bik jaaye mamta ke sunehre khwabon ki anajaam bhi bechi jaati hai..., that moment he starts talking philosophically about the world which feel so contemporary today even if there is no war here in India, but the situation is sad, I invariably read it every week once and cry
I think the buy-in to emote and express is also a very important reason why movies make us "feel" so much. Movies make us feel empathic sadness, and they are emotionally gratifying. The vicarious release of emotions during a watching experience is not just about venting but also about owning up to vulnerabilities that are avoided in everyday life.
And then maybe there's also an amount of cognitive gratification. While watching, to sit and think, to contemplate, is a choice that the audience is opening itself up to. I like this idea because it presents movies not just as a space to feel but also as one to think (deeply). Though this becomes difficult to reckon with when looking at a) the completely unthinking and unfeeling content of movies today, and b) the problem of attention in the age of social media.
Thinking back to movies that made me weep or sob, there are two I remember very clearly.
The first one is Avinash Arun's debut feature "Killa". I watched it in a theatre, at a film screening organized by the Indian Express Film Club. Was my emotion more than I can explain? Not really, no. The mother-son relation in that film very closely resembles the relation between me and my mother. I was in my early 20s at the time of watching this film - about to complete my undergraduate education with no clear direction to my life. My grandmother, who raised me until I was 10, had recently been detected with terminal stage cancer. She was taking radiation therapy and was suffering from its side-effects. It felt like the end of childhood. I vaguely remember that the film is mostly set in the middle of the monsoon season, when the Konkan rains are at their heaviest. I have not dared to watch "Killa" again since then, even though I would consider it as one of my all-time favourite films.
The other is Jane Campion's "An Angle At My Table". I watched it on my laptop, sitting alone in my room in a shared house in Canada, some time between Christmas and New Year, when all the Canadians go home to visit their families, and you're left alone because it is too expensive for Indians to travel all the way to India just for the 2 weeks of winter break. The movie is based on the life of Janet Frame, a writer from New Zealand, diagnosed with schizophrenia, admitted to an asylum, and scheduled to have a lobotomy, which she manages to avoid at the last minute when her first book of short poems is published. Nothing that can be said to be "personally relatable". And yet...
I have cried a few times in movies and plays, most recent was last week watching Jafar Panahi's 'It was just an accident'. The ending was really moving for me.
But the weird(not actually) was seeing the Madonna of bruges. I stared at it for half an hour probably, It was strangely emotional experience I can't explain.
This is a beautiful and perceptive piece Anurag, I am generally very reserved with emotions and real-life difficult situations don't bring out any sort of physical reactions at all, but films are a different beast all together, I often cry when something on the screen (mostly my computer) moves me and that is often cathartic for me, I cry frequently and without a care in the world, even in a cinema. It's beautiful, don't know about it being hypnotic though!!
I think I am a very basic person, so I have cry often while watching movies, some of them I remember - Capernaum, Artificial Intelligence, Stanley ka Dabba, Taare Jameen Par, Nanette (not movie), and today while watching Homebound.
When I was in college, I had watched a play performed by the team of Asmita Theatre Group. It was a story of a muslim man who drove autorickshaws for a living. His son had just died. Whenever that man came in contact with any passenger, he shared his grief but no one listened. It was an Indian adaptation of Chekhov's Short Story Misery. It was the first time I had cried so much in a theatre. Every single one of my friends cried unashamedly, unapologetically. Every professor, every student I could see in the darkness was sobbing relentlessly. That day I changed as a viewer.
Although I am very generous in shedding tears, one of the most curious pieces I have cried on was something called a "counter-map" in an exhibition a few years ago. Made by artist Mohamed Abusal, this imagined metro map of Gaza left me in uncontrollable tears. As a lover of public transportation who enjoys riding buses and metro, this innocent vision of having just a functioning mobility system in Gaza while being in a perpetual existential threat was both heartbreaking and heartwarming.
Lovely article, Anurag. Your way with words is moving, evocative, and thought-provoking. I often shed a tear or two while watching movies or TV shows, but one particular occasion is still very fresh. I took my mother-in-law to see the Amir Khan movie, Talaash, a few weeks after its release. Overall, it was a decent movie with an engaging plot, but what opened the floodgates for me were all the scenes where Amir Khan deals with the accidental death of his young son. I was a new father at that time, and even the thought of something happening to my son was overwhelming. The movie captured the anguish of the parents, particularly the father's, very poignantly. I still think about that experience. On a side note, but tangentially related, I am very open about expressing my emotions in front of my son. I hope that in this world of "influencers" posturing on social media and toxic masculinity, he learns that expressing emotions is integral to the human experience.
The final line is very beautiful. It’s very important in current era or detached internet irony
The last time I cried uncontrollably was during Ava Duvernay's Origin. I had read the book few years ago and I knew going into the movie that it's going to be heartbreaking, but completely unexpectedly the scene where Isabel's husband dies made me weep the most and that scene (and fear of losing my spouse) kept replaying in my head for multiple nights after.
Btw I cry easily so its a low bar to clear, but I distinctly remember crying a lot in Pixar's Soul(when the lead discovers what the "point" of life is - the Epiphany scene) and during Denis Villeneuve's Arrival(when the lead who can see the future that involves so much pain still chooses to go forward with the relationship with her future husband) a lot!
The first time I cried uncontrollablly was after watching Tare Zameen Par as a kid I think I might be about 7-8 years old I don't what happened how can a kid cry after watching a movie. I still think about it .
In one of Diljit’s Punjabi movies there is an emotional song with one line that goes like, “somebody inform the stream in my village, I'll swim in it again after going to a crematorium, I will be back as ashes in a clay pot”, perhaps this is the only song that made me cry for a bit. To me it brings out the connection between a person and the place they call home and longing to reach there even after death, and also my pathetic narcissism about crying over my own death. Also, while reading Anita Anand’s book on Udham Singh, I cried when they brought Udham’s remains back to India after so many decades. Reunited with a land that he sacrificed himself for, only decades after death. I am noticing a pattern here now. Sorry about the long comment.
Beautiful essay.
I cried uncontrollably while watching Grave of the Fireflies, and the tears didn’t stop even through the night that followed. Even now, whenever I think about it, like at this very moment as I type, I have to fight hard to hold back tears. What surprises me is that I cannot consciously relate to the story. I have never gone hungry because of poverty or endured anything close to what the characters went through, yet the film still affects me so profoundly, as if it reached into some deeper, unspoken part of me.
I always cry while reading Sahir ludhianvi's nazm Parchhaiyan about the love of a couple in war and the end of war and the call of the poet for the people to act against the govt. It's not always the activist part but the part where he starts with us saam muje malum hua jab Baap ki kheti bik jaaye mamta ke sunehre khwabon ki anajaam bhi bechi jaati hai..., that moment he starts talking philosophically about the world which feel so contemporary today even if there is no war here in India, but the situation is sad, I invariably read it every week once and cry
After reading your article I just remembered I heard november rain by gnr on the weekend. Listened at home again. Song took my mind someplace.
I think the buy-in to emote and express is also a very important reason why movies make us "feel" so much. Movies make us feel empathic sadness, and they are emotionally gratifying. The vicarious release of emotions during a watching experience is not just about venting but also about owning up to vulnerabilities that are avoided in everyday life.
And then maybe there's also an amount of cognitive gratification. While watching, to sit and think, to contemplate, is a choice that the audience is opening itself up to. I like this idea because it presents movies not just as a space to feel but also as one to think (deeply). Though this becomes difficult to reckon with when looking at a) the completely unthinking and unfeeling content of movies today, and b) the problem of attention in the age of social media.
Agree. Very beautifully articulated.
Thinking back to movies that made me weep or sob, there are two I remember very clearly.
The first one is Avinash Arun's debut feature "Killa". I watched it in a theatre, at a film screening organized by the Indian Express Film Club. Was my emotion more than I can explain? Not really, no. The mother-son relation in that film very closely resembles the relation between me and my mother. I was in my early 20s at the time of watching this film - about to complete my undergraduate education with no clear direction to my life. My grandmother, who raised me until I was 10, had recently been detected with terminal stage cancer. She was taking radiation therapy and was suffering from its side-effects. It felt like the end of childhood. I vaguely remember that the film is mostly set in the middle of the monsoon season, when the Konkan rains are at their heaviest. I have not dared to watch "Killa" again since then, even though I would consider it as one of my all-time favourite films.
The other is Jane Campion's "An Angle At My Table". I watched it on my laptop, sitting alone in my room in a shared house in Canada, some time between Christmas and New Year, when all the Canadians go home to visit their families, and you're left alone because it is too expensive for Indians to travel all the way to India just for the 2 weeks of winter break. The movie is based on the life of Janet Frame, a writer from New Zealand, diagnosed with schizophrenia, admitted to an asylum, and scheduled to have a lobotomy, which she manages to avoid at the last minute when her first book of short poems is published. Nothing that can be said to be "personally relatable". And yet...
Beautiful. You can also check out Vihir by Umesh Kulkarni which has similar mood like Killa.
I have cried a few times in movies and plays, most recent was last week watching Jafar Panahi's 'It was just an accident'. The ending was really moving for me.
But the weird(not actually) was seeing the Madonna of bruges. I stared at it for half an hour probably, It was strangely emotional experience I can't explain.
Yet to watch jafar’s film. Very eagerly waiting:)
This is a beautiful and perceptive piece Anurag, I am generally very reserved with emotions and real-life difficult situations don't bring out any sort of physical reactions at all, but films are a different beast all together, I often cry when something on the screen (mostly my computer) moves me and that is often cathartic for me, I cry frequently and without a care in the world, even in a cinema. It's beautiful, don't know about it being hypnotic though!!
Everytime I watch K3G, I weep when the two brothers are sitting on the bench. Even while writing this comment, there is a tear just thinking about it
Thank you for writing this! Its all I can say.
I think I am a very basic person, so I have cry often while watching movies, some of them I remember - Capernaum, Artificial Intelligence, Stanley ka Dabba, Taare Jameen Par, Nanette (not movie), and today while watching Homebound.